don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
