I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
