it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
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When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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