Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
