belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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