He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize