I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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