Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
