Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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