Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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