if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
