JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
