Are we in a gay sports bar?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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