just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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