If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
