So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
