Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
