I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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