i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
