I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
there is glitter all over my balls
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
