He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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