white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I need to stop coming to work sober
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
