I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
