Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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