Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Holy shit dude........stairs
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
