Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
