I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
