Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
