you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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