got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
