I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
