Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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