wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
