why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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