I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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