If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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