She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
