you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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