I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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