I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
