i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
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