i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
