what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
