He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize