She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
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Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
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she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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