Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
