Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
