I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
