At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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