Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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