I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
