I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize