Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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