I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
