who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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