She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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