the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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